Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
