First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
