The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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