I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
