i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
