i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Randomize
