We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Two words: blizzard sex
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
