Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize