u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
