Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
