Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
