so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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