O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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