Jerry, you need to find god
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
