you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
