Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
