i barfeds in our rink
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
smell my finger.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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