I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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