If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
