omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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