please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
