Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
