I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize