so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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