YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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