Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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