She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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