There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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