it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
