remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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