spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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