Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize