and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
