So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
