Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
