ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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