I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
