That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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