I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
