it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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