piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
