I cannot find my penis.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize