It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
