We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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