just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
