been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
