It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
