Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
