Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He felt like a one man threesome
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
