I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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