Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Be still, my beating vagina.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
