it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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