so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
