Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
