he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
