I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
