You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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