Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
