you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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