Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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